Friday, 13 January 2012

The Web is Addictive! Something must be done...


The web is corrupting people's minds - and some are addicted to the Internet:

Web addicts have brain changes similar to those hooked on drugs or alcohol, preliminary research suggests.

We need the following clearly*:

  • Guidelines for recommended maximum exposure to the Internet
  • An age restriction preventing harm to children
  • Taxes on Internet access to begin the process of denormalisation
  • Public health campaigns highlighting the risk of Internet use
  • Work towards a minimum price for Internet access

We must act now to save lives!

*I take this from the public health response to tsimilar problems with alcohol, tobacco and other things that affect people's brains. Something must be done!



Pat Nurse MA said...

Crikey - don't invoke the Devil Simon - you might just get it :(

selsey.steve said...

Many a true word ... and all that!

Rob F said...

We'd have to work out a method of calculating 'Internet Units' first.

I'd recommend pulling the limits out of thin air, and then describing anything that's 'sorta right-wing' as the equivalent of a large glass of scotch, and any online opinion from the Guardian or the Independent as the equivalent of a can of shandy.

Doctors would then be allowed to question their patients about their internet usage, and allowed to give out free (well, tax-funded) Stop Hating packs to anyone who regularly exceeds those guidelines.

Can I be a doctor now, or do I still have to fill in the coupons from the backs of Monster Munch packets?

Woodsy42 said...

Of course it's addictive, and my wife will attest to the detrimental effect of second hand web.
(This basically consists of lack of household help)

Richard H. said...

We should immediately start "denormalization" of all 'recreational' internet usage and move swiftly and assertively towards promoting only 'utilitarian' internet usage. To further this goal we will need "plain-packaging" - all colors should be immediately eliminated making the internet completely black and white; BAN all cutesy emoticons; All avitars will be black and white and contain only a personally assigned govt. 'bar-code'. Eliminate ALL private search engines and develop one CENTRAL govt. search engine which will be regulated under a newly developed international panel - the Federal Usage Commission for Healthy Electronic Access to all Digital Science-(F.U.C.H.E.A.D.S.) Web cams will be disallowed; all online games, music and recreational reading materials will be taken off and disallowed. Internet tools available will have to be "applied for" through the govt. and will be licensed with annual fees collected. Only pre-selected govt. fonts and script will be allowed. BANS on texting in public, in public parks, in public access buildings. ALL e-mail will be required to go through govt. "sorters" to be scanned for content and purpose - this too will be under the purview of F.U.C.H.E.A.D.S. Blah, blah, blah...

Anonymous said...

Richard H. said: "We should immediately start "denormalization" of all 'recreational' internet usage"

No, actually, only recreation/entertainment use will be allowed—and shopping.


SadButMadLad said...

Anon, no recreation shouldn't be allowed. Didn't you know that the t'internet is only used by males for the purposes of self satisfaction. For this reason only, it should be controlled. Just look at what smoking and drinking has done to men.