Imagine the shock! You peel back the cling film from that box or healthy, organic mushrooms and there in full view is the most poisonous thing on the planet:
A father-of-four was left disgusted after his wife discovered a cigarette inside a packet of mushrooms.
These weren't cooked mushrooms you understand but the raw ones. So I'm guessing that the complaining father-of-four would be washing and cooking said fungal delights. In which case there is precisely zero risk from the presence of the evil cigarette.
As it stands the complaining father-of-four has done rather nicely - reimbursement (enough to buy another, almost certainly cigarette-free, box of mushrooms) and the offer of a free trip to see the grower, a great chance to take those four kids on a fun outing to a mushroom farm!
But then it was a cigarette - but for his attention the four children could be dying of lung cancer by now!
PS I know it's not Friday.