Friday Fungus: Halloween! Why witches fly on broomsticks...

Ah ergot, driving us all mad for centuries (and killing us). The active ingredient in this fungus that grows on cereal crops is pretty similar, in chestry and effect, to LSD. So, not surprisingly, people used to to take a trip - on a broomstick:

A number of Spanish witches admitted during their inquisitions that they engaged in night-flying. This is because witches would use hallucinogenic drugs to get high and make them believe they were flying. Their way of administering the drugs was rather novel even by modern day standards.

The hallucinogenic they used was called ergot, it came from a mould that grew on rye bread. In high doses ergot is fatal, but small amounts would lead to extremely intense experiences. Therefore, in order to avoid the risk of death, witches looked for alternative ways to absorb the drug quickly into their blood stream.

The most effective way, and the one with the least ill-effects, was through the female genitals. Witches would rub an ointment made with ergot onto the end of their broomsticks and quite literally sit on it.

So there you go - that's how witches fly!

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Thou shall not suffer a witch to live - even when she's innocent

The acquittal of Rebekah Brooks:

Mrs Brooks was found not guilty of four charges including conspiring to hack phones, making corrupt payments to public officials and conspiring with others to conceal evidence from police.

This is the last sentence of a hatchet job on Rebekah Brooks in the Daily Mail. A litany of Rebekah's sins and failings (the greatest being that she rose to success in Rupert Murdoch's evil empire) that begins with that classic of the tabloid genre:

Rebekah, the world class schmoozer who bewitched three Prime Ministers... and Rupert Murdoch.

Mrs Brooks didn't rise to success because she was talented, capable, delivered what worked and sold newspapers. No, she succeeded because she used her witchy woman wiles to control the men around her and her glamour ensnared three prime ministers. The Mail - which had clearly prepared the article well ahead of the verdict in Mrs Brooks' trial (a verdict the paper, I suspect, was disappointed about) - even found someone who was at primary school with her to pass comment. As if the bitchiness of a ten-year-old's "best friend" is a guide to the grown up woman's character.

And before you get the idea that this is merely your typical Daily Mail sexism - here's a man writing in the Guardian:

She is brilliant with men, charming, tactile, very nearly seductive. One man who dealt with her often – a man who is happily married and 20 years her senior – recalls with some embarrassment that “whenever we spoke, she left me thinking that, well, if things had been a little bit different [a sigh] perhaps we would have been together”.

You see folks - Rebekah got to be the boss because she was sexy and flirtatious, nothing to do with whether or not she was actually good at her job.  To bemused journalists Mrs Brooks is unexplainable - the working-class origins, the unashamed sexiness, the frightening red hair - she must be a witch casting her enchantments on the men around her, manipulating them up to her tower and offering them the world. Before moving on to the next, and more powerful, person.

The failure to kill the witch this time (and we know how much the left love to apply the word witch to successful women) clearly disappoints many who were already building the great fire on which the evil enchantress was to be burned. Even the Telegraph was disappointed that the 'Wicked Witch' turned out not to be so wicked after all.

Whatever we think of the Murdoch empire, the manner in which Mrs Brooks is described is appalling. We don't see her pained as a successful, high-achieving woman but as a manipulative and exploitative witch - someone with a dark side whose rise to fame came from enchantment rather than from being good at the jobs she was given.

So these journalists, commentators and knowing media folk cannot suffer a witch to live - innocent or not. Especially when she works for Rupert Murdoch.

Me, I like witches.

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Sinistral wiccaphobia

The witch is a central figure in European folklore. Or rather the medieval characterisation of the wise woman as evil is a feature of folklore.

Away, away, you ugly witch
Go far away and let me be
I never would kiss your ugly mouth
For all of the gifts that you could give

Temptation is placed before us - an apple, a gingerbread house or the array of gifts Alison Gross offered her victim - a shirt, a mantle and a golden cup. Sometimes we are sucked into the witches spell despite the witches ugliness. Maybe her glamour blinded us to the truth of her face. Or perhaps our greed led us into the spell.

But this is just a fairy story. A mischaracterisation of the witch. For that witch is more like to be simply someone who tells us the uncomfortable truth, who sits us down to say that we can't have all the glories of the world and that good things are the consequence of effort or good fortune never entitlement.

Some though persist with the image of the witch as an evil hag - more from their own doubts about female achievement than anything else. These sorry sinistral folk persist in hating witches, in painting them as the devil's servants and as monsters better dead.

The rest of us know different. The witch, they say, is dead. But her spirit lives on, the thought and wisdom still guides and advises. And new witches, inspired by that dead witch's achievement, will arrive, ready to spread the wisdom.

And to curse that sad sinistral wiccaphobia.

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"Witch, witch, burn her, burn her!"

I gather that Nadine Dorries, Tory MP and doyenne of those who aren't that keen on our supposedly libertine sexual culture, has been at it again. From what I understand, Nadine has commented that, if we encouraged girls to abstain from sex, there would be less 'sexual abuse'. Now I appreciate that such comments seem illogical but that surely doesn't merit the sort of completely over-the-top, lunatic reaction as we actually got:

@Chrisisis Lot of agreement about how repulsive #Dorries is, so lets spread the word about #SlutWalk Manchester

@Hhaylo: If #Dorries was a man, calls for resignation & accusations of misogyny would be widespread. Despicable that as a woman she gets away with it

...and so on - endless tweets and retweets castigating this MP. For what? For having an opinion - one I disagree with - but an opinion nonetheless. The reaction is frankly rather ridiculous - there's a case to be made and an argument to be had about sex education, about the attitude of men towards women and about sexual promiscuity. But these are debates - those who hold the opposite view are not evil people merely people with whom we don't agree.

In this case the reaction demonstrates a real weakness in the arguments supporting 'establishment' views relating to sex education, sexual behaviour and morality. If, when the established assumptions are criticised, the only response is ad hominum attack, over-reaction and the construction of legions of straw men we really do have a problem. Nadine Dorries may well be wrong but I'm also sure she isn't "repulsive", a "misogynist" or even "despicable".

The reaction - the frothing mobb of unpleasantnness - brings to mind the 17th century witch crazes where innocent (and sometimes not so innocent) comments were blown out of all proportion as the crowds yelled:

"Witch, witch! Burn her, burn her!"

So much for a rational society and grown up debate.

Convert, convert, convert her! An update on the Catholic Church and witches....

The Catholic Church has issued a little booklet about converting witches - perhaps some progress from putting them to the torch but still just a little barking!

A guide on how to convert witches to Christianity has been published by the Roman Catholic Church in Britain.

The move comes in response to fears that growing numbers of teenagers are being lured into Wicca, occult practices and paganism by the heroic depiction of witches in entertainment including the Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice films, and TV.

The booklet, called Wicca and Witchcraft: Understanding the Dangers, offers parents advice on what to do if one of their children takes an interest in witchcraft.

Apparently witches are bad because there's a link to:

Behind the glamour there were ‘grave dangers’ because of its link to the occult and the sinister movement championed by satanist Aleister Crowley.

Now leaving aside the fact that Crowley wasn't a Satanist, I find the idea that all this jolly filmic witchcraft is a recruiting sergeant for the devil to be quite entertaining. But not as entertaining as the author's rationale:

To marginalised and spiritually hungry generations the growing spiritual phenomena of Wicca and witchcraft have proved attractive, with much to offer: power, supernatural abilities and socially acceptable agendas such as eco-activism and feminism.

Presumably the tactic is to persuade these spiritual proto-feminists to join a church run by men? Now that's going to work well, isn't it! Come to church with me and watch the back of some bloke while he waves wine and wafers around!

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"Vote for me or my demon eats you."

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The witch candidate for Cambridge, self-styled King 0f all Witches, Magus Lynius Shadee has a secret weapon up his sleeve (or possibly on one or other of hell's planes):

"A witch who plans to open an occult centre in Cambridge says he has conjured up a demon - in the city's Catholic Church. Magus Lynius Shadee says the demon could possess parishioners and drive them to suicide.He claims to have instructed the evil spirit to "dwell" in the famous church to "cleanse it". The occultist, who calls himself the King of All Witches, says he let loose the entity to prey on worshippers at the Church of Our Lady and the English Martyrs in Hills Road."

Our Mage also plan to use his powers to assist his election campaign and he:

"...hopes to cast a spell on voters and steer them away from the traditional parties."

So what with demonic assistance, magic spells and doubtless assorted sprites and shades to assist him, will our Mage be Cambridge's next MP? Or will the collected "traditional parties" conspire to do him down by underhand methods like leaflets, canvassing and the application of election law? A mighty battle in prospect between these occult forces and a lone witch helped only by a mere demon!

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Minister appoints Coven?

It seems that the Department for Communities and local government is turning to witchcraft:

“Communities Secretary John Denham today announced the appointment of 13 new faith advisers who will act as a 'sounding board'”

Now that sounds like a coven to me!

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