Saturday 28 November 2009

Out of the shed but still have my axe...(more on business wiffle-piffle)

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I had a gentle rant about the Idea Hive a few days back - and some people suggested that "underneath the new age language" lay something called "sound theory". My problem is that because it's 95% piffle we miss the good stuff. My advice is to use English.

Maurice Saatchi was of the opinion that you should be able to express a strategy clearly on one side of A4. And as I have expressed before we get all too steamed up with the word – and lose sight of action and tactics. But today that’s not my beef – what I’d like to ask is why we seem to feel that there aren’t sufficient words in the language already.

However, rather than tearing into Idea Hive (Chief Shamanic Officer wtf is all that about then, guys) again I have lifted this from those nice folk at Clarity:

"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?"

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive marketplace.

In a partnering relationship with the client, we helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken deploy its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

We convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with our own consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and successfully architecting and implementing and enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

In conclusion, we helped the chicken change to become more successful.

...read, enjoy and, when you write stuff, try to use those good old words that everybody understands. After all without comprehension (do they still teach that at school) you're wasting your time.

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1 comment:

David Hodgson said...

Honored to be mentioned Simon. Glad you read it, even if the metaphor is not to your particular taste. Maybe I should have used Magus instead of Shaman to have it be comprehended by a British audience, perhaps I have been living in San Francisco too long :)