Instead, I shall speculate about how it feels being Number One. Now remember that – other than my childhood when I had two younger brothers to dominate – I have very little experience of first place (and even that was moderated by having a big sister). However, I have a very vivid imagination and can speculate on the feeling of victory – standing on the podium (even the metaphorical podium of bloggerdom), champagne bottle in one hand, trophy in the other as I delight in my vanquishing of lesser folk. The smugness that flowing from my body will be almost palpable – verging on a material thing.
And being Number One will bring other rewards – TV appearances, magazine interviews and a flood of new readers – some groupie-like in their desire to be close to me in that virtual bubble of minor celebrity. Others will ape my style, search for the simple truth – the genius, if you will – that lies behind my elevated status. And I shall bask – no, wallow – in the mud hole of Number One.