It was inevitable. As certain as anything could be. As soon as the ink was dry on the Chief Medical Officer's shocking new guidelines on safe drinking there would some research outlining the terrible dark truth about all our boozy habits. A report based entirely on us exceeding those new guidelines - 14 units a week, less than a pint a day. A report based on guidelines that reject the evidence about alcohol and health, that could have been written by some po-faced nineteenth century temperance campaigner.
Us blokes are heading for oblivion and an early grave. We're in denial:
Experts are calling for health warnings on all alcoholic drinks after data showed millions of middle-aged men drink above government guidelines and do not believe it does them any harm.
You know something, we (and I'm definitely one of these denying middle-aged men) don't give a toss about your guidelines. We think they are stupid nannying nonsense. If we look a little further into the truth of those guidelines, what we find is that they are a complete load of unevidenced twaddle produced by the anti-booze lobby. But most blokes don't get this far, they look at what they drink and decide that, you know, it's fine and it isn't going to make any noticeable difference to their life.
If we were to start living the life the nannying fussbuckets, New Puritans, health fascists, prohibitionists and public health campaigners would have us live, we'd be giving up a whole load of entirely innocent pleasure. To absolutely no benefit whatsoever. None. Zilch. There is absolutely no scientific basis for the new guidelines so we can - and should - go on drinking the same way as we did before the nannies announced we were all headed for an early, alcoholic grave for enjoying a pint of two most days.
What makes me most cross is that the government repeats this lie - and it is a lie, a complete fiction, a load of utter bollocks, misleading, without any scientific basis, incorrect, misleading, fictional:
“Drinking any level of alcohol regularly carries a health risk for anyone, but if men and women limit their intake to no more than 14 units a week it keeps the risk of illness like cancer and liver disease low."
This is why we should sack the entirety of Public Health England, the Chief Medical Officer and most of the egregious profession of public health. The reason Jeremy Hunt should go as secretary of state isn't because of the doctors' strike but because he has allowed these lies, this crass fiction to be endorsed by government.