The Incredible Shrinking Viscount

Labour Toff, Anthony Neil Wedgewood Benn talks down to the assembled working classes

A friend at university, Neil Duncanson, first coined the aptly descriptive term “Incredible Shrinking Viscount” to describe the then member of parliament for Bristol North East, a man who had started as Anthony Neil Wedgewood Benn, 2^nd Viscount Stansgate only to shrink (in inverse proportion to his self-importance) to the oh-so-proletarian, Tony Benn.

I was reminded of the Incredible Shrinking Viscount as a result of a little (and slightly snide) posting from Political Scrapbook:

Humourless Tory toff Jacob Rees-Mogg is attempting to close down a spoof Twitter account set up in his name.

Now Jacob Rees-Mogg may be humourless for wanting to shut down a Twitter account that takes the rise out of him. Indeed, some MPs would perhaps slice off parts of their anatomies to achieve the recognition and accolade of have some nitwit set up a spoof account in their name.

But – and this is a serious question – why did the author of this sniffy little piece have to use the term “Tory toff”? OK, I’m sure that the author will point out that Mr Rees-Mogg is a Tory and, in so far as the term is defined, most definitely a Toff but was that necessary to the story or merely playing to the Labour inverse snob gallery? The same gallery to which Labour Toff , Anthony Neil Wedgewood Benn, 2^nd Viscount Stansgate, inheritor of millions, pupil at top public school and Oxbridge educated – privilege and advantage defined, played when he dumbed down to just Tony Benn.

So why is it that Jacob Rees-Mogg, David Cameron, George Osborne and other Conservatives are routinely derided as “Tory Toffs” by the likes of Political Scrapbook whereas Benn, the late Michael Foot, Anthony Blair, Polly Toynbee and Tristam Hunt never receive the description as “Labour Toffs”? Is it that Labour folk like to avoid the real fact that there are plenty of really posh, champagne socialists out there – the sort of people who, as my father would say, “can afford to be socialists.”

Maybe though the term “Tory toff” is merely a random class-ridden term of abuse that we should accept as being from the same intellectual box as “Tory scum”. Demonstrating yet again that the left have no arguments left – merely insults.

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On nearly 35 years of being "Tory Scum" - and looking forward to 35 more!

Not a big celebratory year, I know but worth marking none the less!

I joined the Conservative Party – signed up as “Tory Scum” – in 1976. Eden Park Young Conservatives were in need of fresh blood and, what with my Dad being the ward councillor, I got roped in. Not that I was complaining as it was an enjoyable time – good social events and the run in to a momentous General Election in 1979.

So when I hear the protesting students crying “Tory Scum here we come”, my eyes mist over a little as 35 years of this, the left’s most plaintive cry, springs to the front of my memory. I remember the joys of trot-baiting at university, the pleasures of running picket lines just for the hell of it and the echoing sound of the massed militants (well all six or seven of them anyway) chanting “Tory Scum, Tory Scum” as one or other of us spoke at a meeting.

I remember smuggling Patrick Wall into Hull University (from where – despite him being the MP for half the students there – he was banned for being a particularly right-wing kind of “Tory Scum”) and the Union trying to censure us under their “No Platform for Tory Scum” policy. Those were the days!

I remember Luton’s three or four SWP members threatening to hound John Carlisle during the 1983 General Election – and then wondering where they were at the meetings we held in Flitwick, Pulloxhill, Westoning and Barton-le-Clay. Seems we might be “Tory Scum” but at least we understood the geography of North Luton constituency. Delightful!

And I recall the cry resounding round Bradford as Eric Pickles tried to drag the City Council from the age of metropolitian socialism into a time where delivering services to the public took priority over political campaigning. And I smiled as “Tory Scum” was thrown – almost with gay abandon – across the Council chamber once I got elected in 1995.

For me, yelling “Tory Scum, Here We Come” is an admission once again of socialism’s defeat. There is no rational, intelligent argument in this dystopic, dehumanising creed’s favour so its advocates must resort to insult – to hurling abuse, to fear, aggression and destruction as a substitute for debate and discussion.

Socialism died in 1989 – us “Tory Scum” were proved right. And when I hear it now, I smile.

…and kick socialism’s corpse once more just to make sure its dead.

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