Let them have their holidays...

What’s the problem with holidays? Or rather with politicians taking holidays?

OK so there’s image of the politician lying in the sunshine, bottle of San Miguel in one hand, trashy crime novel in the other while markets tumble, riots unfold and the self-righteous (who of course never ever take a holiday) take to the airwaves to score cheap political points about such indulgence.

I know also that politicians are superhuman beings who can stay up all night, work at least seven days each week and remain alert, relaxed and attentive enough to make decisions of great moment whenever called upon to do so. In some cases decisions that amount to life or death.

Clearly such paragons of our workaholic age don’t need a holiday do they? And if they do dare to take a break, to slip away for a day or three, those self-righteous immediately look for the opportunity to call for the paragon to be dragged back from the little break so as to attend to some momentous happening.

Yet these same self-important folk would be the first to complain if their bosses told them they couldn’t have the essential two-week break over Christmas or rang them up with questions and queries every five minutes – interrupting the recharging of batteries at that nice tapas bar on the banks of the Betis in Sevilla.

We’re in a pretty sorry state if we can’t cope for a fortnight without our leaders. And what exactly are these leaders going to do when we’ve shamed them into coming home early from holiday? Hold a meeting. That’s all they’ll do. Or maybe three or four meetings (often dubbed “summits” but that’s just an effort to make a meeting sound useful or important). And those meetings will finish with a press conference where the leader will make reassuring noises that change precisely nothing.

Let them have their holidays.

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...and no you didn't miss me!

Back. Eight hundred or so e-mails herded into the further corners of the interwebs, several thousand examples of other folk's fine words (and some stuff from newspapers) beaten down and a pile of old-fashion, paper-based communications opened and placed into a differently configured pile. Ah, the end of a holiday - it used to be so exciting before you all got so wordy and so keen on communicating. Now it's a morass to wade through, a well of treacle, And I know I will miss the one that matters!

Anyway this little missive is by way of announcing my return. Not, of course, that you'd noted my absence. However, allow me the indulgence of believing you did, that the odd tear dripped down the bereft cheek as you waited vainly for wise words to drop into your in-box. Words that, while not life-changingly profound, are crafted to inspire and to challenge.

So what have you to look forward to? There's a blog about foreign languages in election campaigns and another about Moorish ruins and the scandal of EU waste. I might treat you to a sausage and asparagus recipe and I plan a little bit of a 'New Puritan' series in which I try to understand the mindset that inspires the readership of both the Guardian and the Daily Mail - a mindset of judgementalism, control and an unswerving belief that "we know better". And this might morph itself into a celebration of lower middle class pleasures - a sort of "joy of suburbia".

Or I might just rant at you all every now and then. Whatever!

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A little break...

I am having a break. It may involve food, drink and sunshine. And I deserve it!

As a result there won't be any blogging. I'm sure you'll cope - indeed thrive - without my daily rants, worries and whimsical nonsenses. Bear in mind too that approving comments is a bit hit and miss on the phone so there might be some delay in your masterful and insightful contributions to arrive, sparkling and pristine, on the page.

Laters!

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Bankers Bonus Day - now that should be a holiday!

Let’s face it, we’re envious of those bonus-wielding bankers. That’s it – the whole story. There is no great economic issue, no nascent destruction to be visited upon us as a result.

No, we’re just envious:

So the annual feeding frenzy is starting. While the rest of us face the trauma of how to pay Christmas credit card bills, the City’s high-rollers shove their snouts in the trough and hoover up mind-boggling bonuses of £7billion. Government pleas to stop the gravy train have fallen on deaf ears.

And not only has the media got itself into a state of excitement but politicians have been quick to capture this envy with talk of “social responsibility” and other such tommy rot. Some, such as the boss of the Charity chief executive’s trade union, call for a special extra tax on these bad bankers to be handed over to the ‘third sector’ where of course it will be spent so much more effectively!

So, instead of getting ourselves in a lather about the paying of bonuses to bankers, let’s get a little perspective. Not about whether or not the payments are earned, justified, evil or corrupt but about whether it actually matters. Can we ask ourselves why we have such a problem with people receiving bonus payments in accordance with their contracts of employment? To the extent that we want to punish them for their good fortune by either banning the bonuses or slapping on an extra tax?

Personally, I think big bonuses for bankers are just fine.

In the same way I think what premiership footballers earn is great and the scary money earned by leading luvvies is just brilliant. I’m not even that fussed about people running £1bn plus public organisations being paid “more than the Prime Minister”. Nope, if banks want to remunerate their top employees this way, that’s fine by me – and entirely the banks’ business.

And I don’t think that these arrangement merit any further investigation, any greater transparency or some form of passive-aggressive quid pro quo from the Government – "it’s OK folks we won’t have a go at your bonuses if you let us lecture you about your operational practices". The Government – an organisation with a truly awful record in business management – seeks to direct banking decisions because there’s a big stick to beat the bankers with in the form of endless attacks on the normal remuneration practices of banks. This doesn't instill me with much confidence.

So British banks will pay out £7bn in bonuses to their employees. Bear in mind that half of this - £3.5bn – will go straight back to the Government in the form of taxes. And that doesn’t include the contribution from the bewildering panoply of duties and levies that these wealthy bankers will pay on their leisure and pleasure! And remember that these bankers will spend the money, invest the money, and make rational decisions that will help build our economy.

I’m not envious of bankers (well maybe a little) and think we should celebrate their good fortune rather than trying to argue that not receiving what you’re earned is in any way ‘socially responsible’.  The day bankers get their bonuses is a great day for our economy – a day when money leaves the business balance and starts being consumed, starts driving our great economy.

Perhaps that day should be a bank holiday – I’d party with the bankers for sure!

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Off to the Marches.....

The blogging stuff will be limited to non-existant whilst we go and paddle in what is predicted to be a rather damp Ludlow. St ill I shall drink a little wine, eat some fine food and maybe hunt down the odd mushroom.

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Friday Fungus: Praying for rain!

It’s OK. I’m not praying for rain tomorrow. The rain dance is aimed at the day before foraging for mushrooms. Right now a torrential downpour will be of little use mushroom-wise (although I did have some rather cute little fairy ring mushrooms in the lawn when I cut it last weekend). But when the mushroom season is here there’s nothing better than a good downpour.

Last autumn – when the picture above was taken – we didn’t have any rain so, despite the availability of a mushroom hunter, we weren’t able to go forage in those lovely Tuscan Hills. It rained just as we were leaving – an arrangement that would, of course, suit most holiday visitors. But not those seeking mushrooms as without the rain the fruiting heads stay small and hidden. To get the full impact that rain is necessary.

So yes I’m praying for rain – 22nd October looks like a good day!