Beards, cats and clever octopusses - thoughts on the World Cup Finals

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The World Cup finals have proven to be everything we might expect – England performing in the manner of a damp squib, the TV pundits frothing about special kinds of football not played by Englishmen (samba, total, passing etc.) and everyone being consistently wrong in their predictions. Apparently, with the exception of an especially clever octopus.

There have been some oddities – an Italian player with a full beard (as opposed to one of those trimmed affairs more usually associated with footballers). Presumably de Rossi is studying at the Martin Castrogiovanni school of beards. This trend of bearded Italians is – while odd – faintly encouraging for those of us who have struggled in the sartorial stakes besides assorted Latin types (although inexplicably, as observed here, Vicente Del Bosque, the Spanish boss wouldn’t look out of place in Last of the Summer Wine).

A further oddity of this World Cup has been the failure of any pundit or commentator to attach the term ‘cat’ to any player (not of course that it ever did Peter Bonetti any good). I was under the impression that some sleek, probably South American player has to be likened to a cat at some point – surely it’s in the rules? Such fickleness really isn’t acceptable (as is the fact that the Argentine team is not referred to as The Pumas – this is also wrong).

All in all, not a bad World Cup – and one in which the teams playing good football in an organized way (or in Spain’s case passing the ball in endless triangles until David Villa wakes up and scores) appear to have risen to the top. For my part I’d like the Dutch to win – they deserve it for playing OK football but mostly for failing to win it when they were the best team on the planet by a mile.

Hup Holland Hup!

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Friday Fungus: Cows

Last night I missed the last of the “Great Election Debates” as going out celebrating 21 years of marriage seemed and altogether better idea! And what an excellent night out it was at the recently opened Gauchos on Park Row in Leeds – brilliant steak, some tasty mushrooms and good Argentinian red wine.

Since we’re talking about Argentina, I would be remiss of me not to mention a mushroom – Psilocybe cubensis – that is native to that place and indeed has been called the “Argentina Mushroom”. Firstly, you should note that possessing these mushrooms is illegal in the UK as they are “those” sort of mushrooms. And it would be tricky to plead ignorance as they don’t grow wild in the UK either!

Secondly, there’s a beef connection. Cubensis grows on cow dung or where cow dung has lain:

“Large, fleshy, cap and a persistent ring on stalk; bruising blue; on cow manure. Color varies depending of the age of the mushroom. When they are babies they can be a deep golden brown. As they mature the caps lighten turning a rich golden color right before their veils break loose.”

This mushroom has become one of the most commonly grown drug mushrooms spawning slang names and DIY kits. And – according to The Partnership for a Drug Free America – this is the effect of using Psliocybins.

For my part, I’m sticking to all those fantastic, edible mushrooms – life’s weird enough without the need for hallucinogens! With them you just get this!

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