There must be government of the toddler, by the toddler, for the toddler - a comment on fairness

“It’s not fair!” The shrill voice of a young girl from across the café. “They don’t do hot chocolate with marshmallows.”

After a little smile at this innocent comment from a seven year old, I thought about the big bad grown up world. And there I hear that same cry every day – “it’s not fair” they say. “I have a right”, they say as if the conjuring of rights and of fairness changes anything about the fact that someone else has something you don’t.

There are times when the conduct of democratic politics becomes a toddler-esque bidding war over supposed “rights” and alleged “unfairness”. We are getting the revolution of the five year old – lots of stamping of feet, waving or arms and appeals to fairness. And – if that doesn’t work screaming and shouting, yelling and throwing things about.

One of the things I learned when I was five – and that I was reminded of every day henceforth – is that nothing’s fair and nothing’s right. We get dealt a hand in life and we make the most of it – there are some people who started with nothing who end up with plenty and a few others blessed with plenty who end up down there in the gutter. And it’s not fair.

So why is it that politicians from every direction seem to think that invoking “fairness” or speaking of “rights” is good thing? How did we get to the place where we could set out the appeal to voters as toddlers rather than voters as grown ups who know that we can’t have what we want?

As I heard that little girl’s voice, my thought was that – however her mum responded (and she didn’t say “life’s not fair” like she should have done) – we grow up to believe that we can appeal to Government to make things “fair”. And the politicians promise to make it all OK – to give us our “rights”, to make things “fair”, all the while knowing – as anyone who thinks about it for a second knows – that you can’t make it fair, you have no rights granted by government.

But we still vote for marshmallows don’t we.

....

Some thoughts on the ethics of squirrel pie

I had a squirrel pie for my lunch today. It was really tasty and I can recommend Pots 'n' Pies products on the basis of this experience!

I was also delighted to see the product on sale openly at the Bingley Fine Food Fair. It suggests that there is a little hope for us yet. After endless hectoring by vegetarian lobbyists and generations of dressed rabbits in books, film and on TV, we may at last be growing up. We may finally realise that not eating something because of some misplaced concept of ethics is stupid.

I don't mind at all if you want to be a vegetarian. It doesn't bother me in the slightest if you prefer not to eat fois gras or tuna. I'm quite content for you to worry whether your food is fair trade, organic, shade grown and lacking in food miles. I'm quite OK (although they won't thank you for it) for you to make your own children conform to your faddist behaviour. You can even sign up to the more bonkers fringes of food faddism such as being a vegan.

But I do mind if you foist your squeamishness, your fads and your obsessions onto others. If I want to shoot and eat wild fowl, squirrels and deer, that's my business and nothing to do with you. If I want to chase down wild boar and deer with dogs (a pretty efficient way of hunting these animals), that should be my business - nothing to do with you.

So I'll go on eating squirrel pie, freshly trapped rabbit and shot game birds. And I'll also enjoy goose liver pate wherever it's produced. Animals don't have rights but I do - and one of those rights is to eat what I want to eat, drink what I want to drink and smoke if I want to smoke.

....