How would Satan vote?

The one thing that has struck me most forcibly about the Donald Trump campaign is the extent to which it is a coalition of conspiracy theorists. From 2011 "truthers" and Obama "birthers" the entire campaign has been littered with sinister accusations, allegations and suggestions of dark conspiracy on behalf of The Donald's opponents. This evening, reading the torrent of Tweets about the US election there's a steady trickle of "the voting machines are fixed" suggestions from Trump's supporters - the US equivalent of "use a pen".

From among this seething pit of madness it's hard to plump for just one conspiracy about Hillary Clinton, Democrats or the election that sums up the depressing ignorance of Trump's campaign. Until that is, the "Clinton is a Satanist" line arrived. This didn't so much as jump the shark as do a double back somersault over a vast tank of piranha. But here it is at Trump's Conspiracy Theorist-in-Chief's Infowars blog:

Hillary Clinton’s ties to satanic rituals and the occult have been well-documented for decades.

Clinton insider Larry Nichols told Infowars that Hillary Clinton used to attend a “witch’s church” in Los Angeles during Bill’s presidency.

And a source claimed many FBI agents consider Clinton to be “the Antichrist personified.”

And Alex Jones (the conspiracy mane who runs Infowars) goes on to provide link after link, video after video each one madder than the previous and all purporting to 'prove' Hillary is a Satanist (which she isn't - I bet she's never even rolled a 20-sided dice). The source of all this stupidity is a particularly odd artist called Marina Abramović who is the modern performance art equivalent of a 'shock-jock':

Her work explores the relationship between performer and audience, the limits of the body, and the possibilities of the mind. Active for over three decades, Abramović has been described as the "grandmother of performance art." She pioneered a new notion of identity by bringing in the participation of observers, focusing on "confronting pain, blood, and physical limits of the body."

It's an acquired taste (as anyone who has seen her cake would know) but Abramović is a recognised - even acclaimed artist. The hoo-hah here results from an email (it would be an email, wouldn't it) inviting John Podesta to a showing of 'Spirit Cooking':

“Spirit Cooking” is an Abramović piece supposedly inspired by famous Satanist Aleister Crowley’s occultist rituals. It involves the artist painting the walls with menstrual blood, breast milk, and other bodily fluids.

It may not be all that wholesome but it's just art (and John Podesta's bother Tony is a big time art dealer and collector) with as much connection to Satanism and Black Magic as that 20-sided dice I mentioned earlier. Yet Alex Jones and other Donald Trump enthusiasts lap this up - indeed a depressingly large number seem even to believe Hillary Clinton is some sort of Satanist witch literally hell-bent on destroying the city on the hill that is America.

There's only one word for all this - bonkers.

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Astaroth and the children of rock stars...

He is a Mighty, Strong Duke, and appeareth in the Form of an hurtful Angel riding on an Infernal Beast like a Dragon, and carrying in his right hand a Viper. Thou must in no wise let him approach too near unto thee, lest he do thee damage by his Noisome Breath. Wherefore the Magician must hold the Magical Ring near his face, and that will defend him. He giveth true answers of things Past, Present, and to Come, and can discover all Secrets. He will declare wittingly how the Spirits fell, if desired, and the reason of his own fall. He can make men wonderfully knowing in all Liberal Sciences. He ruleth 40 Legions of Spirits.

Such is the temptation of the devil - he drips away at the minds of weak people. And none are weaker, it seems, than the Daily Mail journalist:

Crowley, who was born into an upper-class British family in 1875, styled himself as 'the Great Beast 666'. He was an unabashed occultist who, prior to his death in 1947, revelled in his infamy as 'the wickedest man in the world'.

His form of worship involved sadomasochistic sex rituals with men and women, spells which he claimed could raise malevolent gods and the use of hard drugs, including opium, cocaine, heroin and mescaline.

To be honest - as the hat tells us - Crowley was rather more of a libertine than he was ever an adherent of some evil faith. Indeed the motto of the Ordo Templi Orientis - "do what thou wilt" - rather makes this clear! These organisations barely merit the term religion or cult and the 'beliefs' are syncretic making connections between ancient myths, christian iconography and supposed gnostic insight. And for many these secret (or rather secretive) groups fascinate with their combination of the slightly naughty with an esoteric justification for such naughtiness.

It has always seemed to me that Aleister Crowley, for all the occultist guru status laid on him by modern ODO followers, was chiefly interested in such mish-mash religiosity because it excused his rampant (and not especially choosy) sex drive. Terms like the "wickedest man in the world" were more or less self-penned - Crowley revelled in the symbols, candles and drugs far more than in any sincere belief in the strictures of the ODO scriptures, many of which he wrote himself anyway.

Such decadence and libertinism appeals to a certain sort of person - perhaps the wayward child of rockstars or someone similarly blessed with the means to pursue a debauched lifestyle without recourse to doing any real work. After all, Crowley was just such a person and so, it seems is Peaches Geldof:

Given her own dabbling in heroin and casual sex, particularly during a rootless period when she lived in Los Angeles a few years ago, it is perhaps natural that the troubled offspring of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates should be attracted to such a liberal school of thought.

It seems to me that the Order in question appeals precisely because of the heroin and casual sex rather than because of some supposed "satanic" ritual. But - as the Daily Mail find - there's always one person who is prepared to believe that these are evil sectarians who do human sacrifice:

A former FBI agent, Ted Gundersen, who investigated Satanic circles in LA, found that Crowley’s teachings about 'raising demons to do one’s bidding' suggested human sacrifice, preferably of 'an intelligent young boy'.

This is placing altogether too much credence on the ravings of a drugged up libertine - a creative and clever drugged up libertine but still a drugged up libertine. And we shouldn't be surprised that the secret club purporting to descend from Crowley's little clique appeals to modern day drugged up libertines, should we?

Finally though we need to be clear - the Ordo Templi Orientis, the Order of the Golden Dawn or any of the other cranky pseudo-masonic clubs associated with Aleister Crowley are not devil worshippers. Mad, bad and dangerous to know maybe but not satanists.

And as ODO's UK leader points out:

...his is the only religion that sends people a letter of congratulations when they decide to leave

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