Quote of the Day: Back to the Pub

The Fleece, Cullingworth - a Proper Pub

From the Old Curmudgeon:

Many so-called beer enthusiasts who may in the past have given lip service to supporting pubs seem to have gleefully joined in with both of these tendencies. They may well have found they quite enjoyed staying at home during lockdown enjoying supplies of draft craft beer takeouts from their local micro bar, absolved of any need to actually go out and visit any pubs and mix with the dreaded hoi polloi.

So true, so true. There is an overlap between the beer enthusiast and the pub fan but it's an overlap that exists because pubs sell beer not because the sort of person who buys sample trays or overhopped IPAs in thirds, and take all night drinking them actually likes the pub. The Proper Pub (as Old Mudgie calls them) doesn't sell beer like this and doesn't think that it its business. No, the Proper Pub sells beer in straight pint glasses - as beer writer Pete Brown put it:

"I realise the importance of the pint glass itself. It's the perfect vessel, the ideal amount. You know that there is enough for you to take a long, indulgent pull to clear the dust and cobwebs from the back of your throat and cool you down, and still have a satisfying amount left to savour more slowly after this initial greedy rush."

This comes at the end of Brown's book where, having talked about all sorts of beer, he sits down with a pint of lager. Not special, not expensive, just a pint of lager.

And this, as Old Mudgie describes, is the problem: a certain sort of person sees a middle-aged, working class bloke sitting at a fake wood table in a brightly lit boozer and instantly turn into a raging snob.

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More on trying to rescue rural places from depopulation - Japanese craft beer

I've written a few times about how rural places in the developed world are depopulating, leaving behind the old, ill and poor, as people move to the city. And the local governments of these depopulating places - in Ireland, Switzerland, Devon, Sardinia and Calabria - are trying new ways to get folk back living in remote towns and village. Most of this is about straightforward bribery - we'll pay you to come and live here, we'll give a free house, we'll provide a variety of financial incentives.

This one from Japan is a little different and involves art, beer and broadband:

It’s not just craft beer that has attracted young urbanites to Kamiyama. However, the Kamiyama Beer Project is symbolic for chiho sosei (creating life in the countryside), a set of government measures to attract a younger population to Japan’s rapidly shrinking rural population. Kamiyama’s population has decreased from 21,000 in 1955 to around 6,000 today. But, a slow increase is on its way as the town recently introduced high-speed broadband Internet, satellite office spaces for city-based companies, an artist in residence program, a local farming project, and a craft beer brewery.

I wish them well - technology ought to make living in cities less necessary but it still seems that the lure of the bright lights pulls the young away from fields, farms and tranquillity.

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Scrap the duty on cask and keg beer sold in pubs

I called on a local publican (business not pleasure on this occasion) to talk about some issues with his pub. It will come as no surprise to anyone (except perhaps the idiots in public health) to know that the pub in question, a wet-led pub, is struggling - takings have halved as people drink less and when they do, drink at home. It's not so long ago when you could walk to the local with a tenner and come home an hour or so later, suitably oiled, with change.

Meanwhile politicians, locally and nationally, babble on about how pubs are the heart of the community, places to be celebrated, supported and encouraged. Or so the rhetoric goes. The problem is that it's just that, rhetoric. For sure, politicians have done idiotic things like make every pub in Otley an "asset of community value" in the silly belief that this is somehow going to help them stay in business. None of this, however fine it sounds, does anything to sell more beer and, in case all my fellow politicians have forgotten, selling beer is what pubs are for.

We can't do anything about changing consumer habits - if, for reasons of health or taste, people drink less beer the chances are that the places selling beer will struggle. But we can and should stop putting barriers in the way of those beer selling places - pubs - succeeding. Britain has the highest beer taxes in Europe. We've banned smoking in pubs. And a host of petty regulations add cost to marginal businesses. All before we get to talk about rapacious pubcos (the pub I visited isn't owned by one of these) and other popular excuses for the decline in the pub.

Right now, the best thing we could to for these vital community assets would be to scrap beer duty for keg and cask beer on-sales. This wouldn't eliminate the price differential between a pint in a pub and a pint in a supermarket but it would level the playing field sufficiently to give the remaining wet-led pubs a fighting chance of surviving. It would be good if pubs were given an option of having a smoking room but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

If we think that going to the local for a pint fights loneliness, promotes community and turns a dormitory into a place then we should do something about it. Gabbling on about "community pubs" and weeping political tears when a pub closes is all most politicians do right now (in between putting out lies and exaggerations about the impact of drinking beer on our health). It's time to put up  - let's scrap the duty on cask and keg beer sold in pubs, let's do something that actually helps pubs for a change.

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Scribblings IV: On real ale, obesity, long life and settled science plus Notting Hill and French welders.

First a call to arms from Old Mudgie - or at least a reminder what the Campaign for Real Ale was set up to do:

CAMRA is not, and never has been, a generalised campaign for All Good Beer. If some of its members have at times given that impression, they have been wrong. It is a campaign to preserve and champion a unique British brewing and cultural institution. The clue is in the name, and it does what it says on the tin. There are plenty of great non-“real” beers out there, and CAMRA members should feel no shame in enjoying and celebrating them. But they don’t need campaigning for. Real ale does.

And he's right - real ale is the uniquely British product, something that Asterix can take the piss out of, that is central to our pub culture, and is at its best one of the world's greatest drinking experiences.

According to Grandad we have to ban obesity - 'tis the only way to solve the problem (given that studies have shown it's nothing to do with calories or exercise):

And because there is now a cure, they can start pushing for obesity to be made illegal. It will start with public transport and move on to pubs and offices but it's all for our own good. Soon fatties won't be able to even visit public open spaces because as we all know, blubber is now denormalised and we have to protect the cheeeldren from even the sight of a pot belly or a huge arse.

So it goes with science, hardly a day passes without what we thought was true not quite really being true at all. Unless it's climate science of course - as James reports:

Three professors co-teaching an online course called “Medical Humanities in the Digital Age” at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs recently told their students via email that man-made climate change is not open for debate, and those who think otherwise have no place in their course.

I gather the students weren't even allowed to share sceptical thoughts in an online forum - any questioning of that 'settled science' and bang - off the course.

Meanwhile Julia exposes the inconsistency of cops and councils by spoofing that they're banning the Notting Hill Carnival:

The Metropolitan police had asked the council to shut down the famous August Bank Holiday festival after the huge crime rate and the stabbings.

Of course, the closure isn't the carnival (454 arrests, five stabbings, 100 assaults on police officers) but the Fabric nightclub (no arrests, no stabbings, two drug deaths).

On a broader note, Bill Stickers talks about his family and, in doing so comes up with this telling paragraph:

As well as all the “But you can’t say that!” voices crying out that we should not talk about certain issues, or even allude to said facts existence, there’s a ‘health’ lobby out there determined that we will all end our days restricted to ‘care’ homes, dribbling out our dotage, and subject to naught but pity as the Alzheimers inexorably robs us of our marbles, bowel and bladder control.

Living well is more important than living long, which isn't an argument for dissoluteness but rather an encouragement to enjoy the time we've got - we only get one go at it after all!

So driving round France in a camper van makes sense even when trying to get a petrol tank welded means meeting the health and safety rules:

We learn that welding metal petrol tanks is a slow undertaking: at least in France, you have to have a special approval as a welder, and rules require that the tank be washed thoroughly before any work can start, a process that takes a fortnight. And today we are told that no welder here or in the surrounding towns is prepared to take on the job.

I get the cleaning bit (welding and petrol don't mix well) but no-one?

Finally James shares why we die and want medical research we fund. There's a bit of a mismatch with about half the research we fund through donations going on breast cancer.

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The most influential humans ever...and a Merry Xmas!!

There was a list - there's always a list. It claimed to contain the most influential people in history (but contained Elvis Presley and omitted Confucius - reminding us of American parochialism).

However (and you may disagree) the two most important humans - probably women - were those who invented baking and brewing.

Think about it - imagine life without bread or beer!

Have a good Christmas with plenty of beer, bread and pleasure.

Cheers!

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There is nothing to cheer in pubs closing...

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Oh it's-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we'll hear the wild dingoes call
But there's-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer

Now the publican's anxious for the quota to come
And there's a far away look on the face of the bum
The maid's gone all cranky and the cook's acting queer
Oh what a terrible place is a pub with no beer

The Good Pub Guide sets itself up as a promoter of the fine pub - although one suspects at times one without beer. And the book is useful so long as it's a particular type of pub you're looking for.  However this doesn't justify the glee with which the editors of said book describe the closing of pubs:

The closures may be bad news for staff and customers, but it is high time "bad pubs" went out of business, giving visionary and energetic licensees a chance to open new ones, the Good Pub Guide 2014 argues. It predicts that more than 1,000 new pubs will open next year, often in former hostelries that have been shuttered for years. Between 2,500 and 4,000 will go out of business, but the guide quotes a successful landlord saying there are too many pubs in the wrong place, chasing the wrong market. 

The truth is that the traditional idea of a pub - somewhere to go have a drink, a banter and maybe a game is gone. Killed by the pub companies, the smoking bans and the snobbishness of the sorts who write The Good Pub Guide. There are no reasons - bar the interference of politicians and the neglect of PubCos - for these traditional boozers to go and for Sally Maclennane to be thrown out into the cruel world.

The man from CAMRA (for once) is right:

Roger Protz, editor of the Campaign for Real Ale's 2014 Good Beer Guide, added: "How bizarre that a book called the Good Pub Guide should welcome the closure of as many as 4,000 pubs. Pubs need to be saved, not thrown on the scrapheap.

"We welcome the new Localism Act that enables pub-goers to save pubs threatened with closure, get them listed by local authorities and protected as community assets.

“We want to save pubs, not axe them." 

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...they do want the government to fix prices in their favour though...

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We believe in freedom of speech and artistic expression. We don’t believe in mindless censorship.

This is the wonderful Brew Dog, of course, speaking about the Advertising Standards Authority. So it's a shame that their view on minimum pricing is so illiberal and self-serving:

The proposals will mean that the multi-national corporate hammerheads no longer allowed to discount their liquid cardboard to embarrassingly pathetic levels it will act to level the playing field in the off trade. Craft brewers can’t, and shouldn’t, discount their beers and sustain losses. With less of a price differential now in the off trade between industrial and craft beer it will be far easier for the consumer to trade up to awesome craft brews

So much for believing in choice and freedom (although I love the beer).

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The proposals will mean that the multi-national corporate hammerheads no longer allowed to discount their liquid cardboard to embarrassingly pathetic levels it will act to level the playing field in the off trade. Craft brewers can’t, and shouldn’t, discount their beers and sustain losses. With less of a price differential now in the off trade between industrial and craft beer it will be far easier for the consumer to trade up to awesome craft brews. - See more at: http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article/brewdog-backs-minimum-pricing#sthash.gFpG6bsC.dpuf

“We believe in freedom of speech and artistic expression. We don’t believe in mindless censorship.
Read more at http://www.thedrum.com/news/2013/07/24/brewdog-responds-asa-those-mother-fukers-don-t-have-any-jurisdiction-over-us#0zmcl8rJoPq3WzuD.99

More proof of boozing's creative powers...

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Following on from the earlier experiment that showed - following expert review that:

The team that drank alcohol came up with better ideas. And more of them.

The researchers asked the public:

Elsewhere, the public were also consulted for their opinions as to the best idea on the shortlist – both online and on the streets – asking 18-30 year-old drinkers in pubs. All consulted were asked to rate the ideas in order of effectiveness as to which would be most likely to persuade them to alter their drinking habits? 

And you've guessed it folks - the drunk team won again!

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A great little beer rant...

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...from Helen at Food Stories:

I expect the designers think this makes the pub look cool, because we need to make drinking beer cool, right? It’s not just for beardy CAMRA members; old timers with old attitudes. Well here’s the wake up call, people – beer already IS fucking cool. Get over it! Stop trying so hard! Make a pub we can sit in and actually hear the people we are trying to socialise with! 

Go read it - it pricks a few pretentious presumptions and makes a very good point.

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I expect the designers think this makes the pub look cool, because we need to make drinking beer cool, right? It’s not just for beardy CAMRA members; old timers with old attitudes. Well here’s the wake up call, people – beer already IS fucking cool. Get over it! Stop trying so hard! Make a pub we can sit in and actually hear the people we are trying to socialise with! - See more at: http://helengraves.co.uk/2013/06/craft-beer-pub-rant/?utm_source=feedly#sthash.khw60tMu.dpuf

I expect the designers think this makes the pub look cool, because we need to make drinking beer cool, right? It’s not just for beardy CAMRA members; old timers with old attitudes. Well here’s the wake up call, people – beer already IS fucking cool. Get over it! Stop trying so hard! Make a pub we can sit in and actually hear the people we are trying to socialise with! - See more at: http://helengraves.co.uk/2013/06/craft-beer-pub-rant/?utm_source=feedly#sthash.khw60tMu.dpuf

I expect the designers think this makes the pub look cool, because we need to make drinking beer cool, right? It’s not just for beardy CAMRA members; old timers with old attitudes. Well here’s the wake up call, people – beer already IS fucking cool. Get over it! Stop trying so hard! Make a pub we can sit in and actually hear the people we are trying to socialise with! - See more at: http://helengraves.co.uk/2013/06/craft-beer-pub-rant/?utm_source=feedly#sthash.khw60tMu.dpuf

A St George's Day toast to CAMRA

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What I hear you say? To that supine bunch who've been suckered into backing the New Puritan, prohibitionist, anti-alcohol campaigns - ostensibly in order to "save the pub"?

It seems the members have given the CAMRA bosses a slap:

First, motion 8, proposed by the Liverpool branches, was passed, apparently without any speakers against.

8. This Conference requires that the Campaign should actively challenge the health lobby’s anti-alcohol statements to give a more balanced view.

Then, after what reportedly was a very lively debate, Motion 19 was passed by 276 votes to 201.

19. This Conference agrees that CAMRA is on the wrong side of the argument over minimum pricing. It instructs the National Executive to withdraw its support for this measure with immediate effect.

Progress indeed - perhaps we'll see all these articles, press releases and statements removed from CAMRA's website?

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Mash Beer Tax

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Yes folks the budget is coming and, unless something changes, your pint will be going up again in price. Here's a chance to do some lobbying - to try and get the government to stop killing the pub.

In 2008 the Government made a commitment to above-inflation duty increases on beer. Since then, while duty has increased by 42%, revenue has only increased by 12%

And also:
 

Beer is already taxed more in the UK than almost every other country in Europe. Britons pay 40% of the EU beer tax bill, but consume only 13% of the beer

Join the campaign here:


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More "save the pub" nonsense from Ministers

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The government has this "pub is the hub" project that:

...good licensees communities, pub owners, breweries, local authorities and the private sector to work together to match community priority needs with additional services which can be provided by the local pub and a good licensee.

Today Communities Minister, Brandon Lewis announced another £150,000 to promote the scheme and then brags about all the other things the government is doing to "help" pubs:

‘The Government is taking decisive action to support community pubs including doubling business rate relief, which gives up to 100% discounts for small firms including pubs and postponing revaluation will also avoid local pubs facing an 11% rise in their business rates bills."

We then get nonsense about competition from supermarkets and using Community Right to Bid so as to stop a (presumably unviable) pub from closing.

Sadly, Brandon doesn't mention the two big things have contributed the most to pubs - and especially the wet-led local boozer - closing down:

1. Europe's second highest rates of duty on beer
2. The smoking ban

If you really care about pubs, Brandon, do something about these and we'll believe you.

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Nannying fussbucket of the day: France

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They - the French I mean -  don't like beer.  Well, in truth, quite a lot of French folk like beer. But their government doesn't:

Despite the best and combined efforts of brewers, bar-owners, consumers, politicians, citizens and celebrities over the last six weeks, the French Parliament last night approved a bill to hike French beer tax by a massive 160%.

Note this is just beer - not wine, not cider: only beer. It is a blatant piece of preference to the (almost untaxed) wine business. Mind you, even after this massive hike in rates, the duty on beer in France will still be less than a quarter of the rate in the UK.

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More booze nonsense from the MP for Burton

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Andrew Griffiths is the MP for Burton-on-Trent where they brew a lot of beer. You'd expect him to be on the side of the drinkers who provide the profits for the companies that employ the people in the town that elects him. But Mr Griffiths is confused. Very confused.

Our MP starts by defending the industry:

Andrew Griffiths spoke after leaks suggested the parliamentary inquiry would find the industry had broken pledges to act and should face tougher regulation unless it changed tack.

“I don’t think it’s true to say the industry is not working hard to bring about more responsible drinking,” said the Tory, chairman of the parliamentary beer group.

“A vast amount of time and effort has been put in by brewers to make the Responsibility Deal (agreed between the Government and food and drinks industry) deliver the kind of changes the Government wants to see."

All good stuff although we should note that the "parliamentary beer group" is a lobby for the big brewers and pubcos rather than for the drinks industry.  So it's no surprise that Mr Griffiths switches his attack now to other bits of the drinks industry:

“However, my concern is that the issue lies with problem drinks rather than the industry as a whole and I would like to see more work done on the issue of vodka and slammer-type drinks, which are more popular with young people.”

So let's have a go at businesses that make drinks somewhere other than Burton-on-Trent! This is not looking good for our MP - brewers good, distillers bad doesn't seem to me like a great strategy. And I'm willing to bet that those brewers - sorry pub chain owners - who pay for the "parliamentary beer groups" slap up lunches and free drinks sell the occasional 'vodka slammer' in their bars.

But it gets worse. Not content with setting one bit of the drinks industry against another, Mr Griffiths then makes common causes with the prohibitionists, New Puritans and temperance campaigners:

“I fully support proposals for a minimum pricing of alcohol,” he said.

“When you can buy strong cider cheaper than water we have a problem with the pricing mechanism used by supermarkets.

“Nobody wants to hit the occasional drinker, but such discounted prices send the wrong message and encourage young people to drink more and more.”

Now - leaving aside that strong cider isn't sold anywhere "cheaper than water" and that alcohol consumption among young people has been falling for over a decade - Mr Griffiths has become entirely confused. Does he support the industry (the people who manufacturer alcoholic drinks for sale) or believe the lies of assorted nannying fussbuckets who want alcohol to be almost impossible to obtain?

However, having confused me, shown zero grasp of logic or sense and joined (as MP for a brewing town) with a temperance campaign, Mr Griffiths saves his biggest piece of nonsense till last:

Mr Griffiths said he had also been frustrated that brewers ploughed vast amounts of money into developing and marketing a brand, ‘only for supermarkets to drive down the prices and sell it at huge discounts in order to get people in’.

Duh! What on earth is this man talking about? The brewers aren't obliged to sell to supermarkets (plenty don't) and all the big brewers, the one with great big plants in Burton sell loads of beer into supermarkets. It provides the volume for those plants, makes sure they keep employing Burton residents and the price the supermarket flogs the beer for is of no consequence.

 All that brand investment, Mr Griffiths. You do know it's about market share don't you? You do appreciate that the brands owned by Coors (a great old Burton name there) are sold - at whatever price the supermarket chooses - all across the country on the back of expensive brand promotions and that the brand owner loves, revels in, the volumes sold as a result of all that discounting.

And finally, can we be clear that this statement is utter twaddle too:

...alcohol kills almost 15,000 people in Britain each year and costs the UK economy more than £21 billion, including £3.5 billion to the NHS.

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This isn't about beer...

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It's about mass-produced alcoholic fizzy-pop. But then the big brewers have long seen the traditional UK markets for beer - places know as pubs - as an expensive inconvenience. To fully understand everything that is wrong - really wrong with the UK beer market just read this:

Additionally, Burgess said that the company was “thinking” about opening up its own store in the UK as a showcase to try “different things and really immerse people in the brand”.

He adds: “How much we can deliver of that in-store realistically in an environment where we are very passionately focused would be a challenge. I’m not sure its high on our strategic priorities at the moment but maybe there will be something like the Heineken Experience in Amsterdam in the future.”

For crying out load you idiots, beer is an exciting, living product not something for you to practice impenetrable marketing jargon on. If businesses like Heineken weren't so resolutely focused on flogging idiot juice at the lowest possible price maybe we have less nonsense from New Puritans. nannying fussbuckets and neo-prohibitionists.

I hate them (but not as much as the health fascists).

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More hypocrisy about saving the pub...

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There's an Early Day Motion:

That this House notes that beer and pubs contribute 21 billion to UK GDP and support almost one million jobs, almost half of them for 16 to 24 year olds; acknowledges that brewing is one of British manufacturing's success stories; believes that 2012, as a year of national celebrations, is the perfect time to recognise the economic and social value of great British beer and the pub industry; and so urges the Government to listen to consumer and industry groups, including the British Beer and Pub Association, the Society of Independent Brewers and the Campaign for Real Ale, who have united to call on the Chancellor of the Exchequer to support Britain's beer and pub sector by suspending the beer duty escalator to help reduce pub closures, create 5,000 additional jobs and ensure pub going remains an affordable leisure activity.

Let's be clear, I support this idea - indeed, duty on alcohol should be dropped across the board. But am I alone in being irritated by MPs moaning about the decline in pubs when, by their very actions, they contributed to that decline?

Of the 97 MPs who have signed this EDM, 47 voted to ban smoking in pubs. I make that 47 people who should hang their heads in shame at the death of the pub.

Here's a list of those MPs:
 

Peter Bottomley (Con), James Clappison (Con), David Anderson (Lab), Adrian Bailey (Lab), Kevin Barron (Lab), Clive Betts (Lab), Tom Brake (LD), Annette Brooke (LD), Lorely Burt (LD), Menzies Campbell (LD), Martin Caton (Lab), Tom Clarke (Lab), Rosie Cooper (Lab), Jim Dobbin (Lab), Frank Doran (Lab), Jim Dowd (Lab), Louise Ellman (Lab), Paul Flynn (Lab), Don Foster (LD), Mike Gapes (Lab), Andrew George (LD), Mike Hancock (LD), Stephen Hepburn (Lab), David Heyes (Lab), Jimmy Hood (Lab), Martin Horwood (LD), George Howarth (Lab), Gerald Kaufman (Lab), John Leech (LD), Tony Lloyd (Lab), Steve McCabe (Lab), John McDonnell (Lab), Alan Meale (Lab), Austin Mitchell (Lab), John Pugh (LD), Linda Riordan (Lab), John Robertson (Lab), Dan Rogerson (LD), Bob Russell (LD), Dennis Skinner (Lab), Gerry Sutcliffe (Lab), Mark Tami (Lab), Joan Walley (Lab), Robert Walter (Con), Hywel Williams (PC), Mark Williams (LD), Mike Wood (Lab)

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